Please don’t judge something you don’t understand. I wish and hope that most of you never have to experience this. But if it happens to you, just be prepared and understand it’s not forever, but a temporary expeirence you have to be strong though or you’ll never make it. I know it’s hard to wait. You’ll find out patience is a bigger virtue than you thought. But in the end, if it works out for you, it’s worth the wait. If not, I’m sorry, but you think you just wasted your time. But it’s not a complete waste. It’s a situation god put you through on purpose, to help build your character, and prepare you for things that happen further down the road in life.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to date a man in jail or prison? Probably not. But when you love somebody, sometimes you have no choice. When they get incarcerated, not only does their life fall apart, but SO DOES YOURS. The one person you planned hopes and dreams with and built a future with gets taken away in the blink of an eye by the autorities. I DON’T RECOMMEND DATING SOMEONE BEHIND BARS if you don’t have to, and god bless the females who hold their men down strong during their bids. It’s NOT EASY and not everyone is built for it. Here is a look inside the harsh realities people go through evey day to maintain relationships with family members and sometimes the love of their lives.
Visiting
Have you ever been to a jail or prison? Let me tell you, it’s not fun. It’s one of the awful and painful times I’ve ever experienced. When I mean awful, it’s awful because you are treated almost like a prisoner yourself. It causes a lot of anxiety too, especially if you haven’t seen your loved one for a while. It’s that can’t sleep can’t eat feeling, just like if you were going on your first date. It is painful experience, because you see your loved one in a jumpsuit, sometimes shackled from the hands and at the feet. It’s not something you want to see every day or have your kids see. But you do what you have to do to stay in touch with the person you care about.
First you sign the book and check in with the officer. Then you are assigned a locker. You need to bring a picture ID with you or they won’t let you in. Then you get in line or are called by number. Then the fun part begins. You are sometimes patted down, and have to walk through a metal detector. If you’re a female, this is a pain in the ass. You have to take off your bra or piercings in some jails because the they will set off a metal detector. Don’t dare bring in drugs with you! They have sniffing dogs. Even better they sometimes randomly hand choose you out of a crowd to be ion scanned for particles of drugs.
Visiting Room
Ok, so you make it through the first process. Congratulations! Now here comes the even shittier part. You are sitting across from your loved one and are separated by sometimes a grate in between you with no contact. You can kiss your partner but only through the grate. It’s not fun. To get around this, you wrap paper towel around the edges to make it sanitary. In other circumstances you are separated by a short glass barrier, but can only hold hands. You can kiss and hug goodbye but that’s it. Other facilities you can sit next to your partner and are able to get away with a full on makeout session or more. I even know this one girl who got pregnant on a visit. But I’ll emphasize this again you do what you have to do under time circumstances.
Now it’s time to say goodbye. This is the worst time. Since you got there if there’s a clock, you constantly look at it counting down the minutes till you have to leave. Tears are shed, hugs are exchanged, and words of departure are given. It’s not actually goodbye, it’s see you later. See you later at your next court date, or see you next month. If you’re lucky, it’s see you next week. Time is very valuable when you are told how long you are able to spend with the love of your life. It goes by way too quickly, and the moment you have to walk out that visiting room, your heart drops in the pit of your stomach. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.
This concludes Part 1 of “The Prisoner’s Girlfriend”… next segment will feature phone calls and letters
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